Rosevibe

scary dreams

Posted on | August 18, 2004 | No Comments

I had a nightmare last night, probably more than one as I know I woke up feeling totally unrested. However the one I remember… Now that was a doozy. The thing to note about my dreams is how clear and detailed they are – especially the ones I remember, its not just a scene here or there – its always a fully developed story; too much for me to recount when telling, almost like a memory not a dream. In this particular dream I was visiting friends. These particular friends (3 of them) had opened a dojo type place, in fact they were basically training an army – policing the world kind of thing. Sadly I discovered this army had turned bad behind my friends collective backs. They had been subourned by beings that had opened a kind of ‘dimensional gateway’ through the wall of the training room. Now to set the scene, this training room was at the top of a tower – not the kind you see in old films, more like a modern version of that – think of a building like the urbis with a tower at one end of it, the top floor basically sealed off from the rest of the building which is mainly offices with the occasional rest/ recreation space. In my dream, I knew I was not physically present but I ‘saw’ the boards being removed from the wall and key members of the team going through for a clandestine meeting. I then went to my friends to warn them – it seems this ability to ‘see’ things was a known power of mine in this dream as they didn’t question the vision, just the truth of it – arguing that their students must have been going to do battle with the evil I saw, not to meet with them.
However, we got to the training room as they were coming back through the boards, we confronted them – they showed their hand and attacked us, calling reinforcements from behind the wall (these reinforcements… The only way I can describe them was ‘demonic’ S laughed when I described this to him, started chanting “mortal combat, mortal combat” and yes… I admit, I guess it did sound funny to him.. Made me chuckle too – after all, it was only a dream…)

Anyway, we managed to thin the numbers down to just us and the rogue students, we captured one of them (now I should note the clothing, all the students were dressed in garments that resembled the rags lepers are normally portrayed in, this means their faces were at all times covered so what follows did not seem odd) the big bad guy had gotten away, I and one of our number had given chase so it was just the other two teachers and a couple of ‘students’ doing the ‘interrogation’ – I was watching it using my ‘othersight’.
As swift results were deemed necessary, they strung him up and suspended him from the tower above the stairwell, basically hanging him, the only problem was, they couldn’t see that it was a trick – they were hanging their own friend.. The ‘students’ became excited by his frantic struggling as he was slowly hanged.
I was disgusted to see them start masturbating and giggling at his predicament – knowing they could do this unseen by the 2 hanging onto the rope, I tried to cry out to let them know, to try and warn them of the danger, to make them release him. But telepathy was obviously NOT one of my gifts.
When the deed was done and he hung limply, the ‘students’ attacked. Capturing my friends, they dragged them down the stairs and out of the building onto the grass outside where they showed them just what they’d done to their friend and colleague before eating them alive. I could hear their screams as I was frantically fighting for my own life.

I had chased the big bad guy out of the building, he was joined by 4 or 5 others… They surrounded me, laughing evilly, one of them handed me a knife – a huge effort, almost like a cleaver – the kind of things chefs use on TV programmes when they want to make a real show of chopping vegetables. Another threw a sword at me. They then started taunting me and running in, feigning attacks to try and draw me out… I just kept circling trying to get closer to the leader. Then the largest of them ran full at me, intending to take me out I think – to ensure I had the same fate as my friends… I stabbed him.
“Stabbed” is really too inadequate a word for the satisfaction I felt on sinking that knife deep into his flesh. It slid in like a hot knife through butter and his howls were definitely music to my ears.
For a second they backed off as I swung round and severed his head using the sword they’d thrown at me – then they all ran in at once.
I was like a demon myself – slashing and circling, always just keeping that circle around myself clear, until they over ran me by sheer numbers – they came pouring at me from nowhere. I woke with the image of my body disappearing under a wriggling heap of theirs, secure in the knowledge that I was dead.

Why is it that my clearest dreams always end up with me dying – generally being beaten to death… Serious, check here for one I had a few years ago… That one really affected me for a while.
I can’t even figure out what prompted this dream… The sword fighting I get – watched kill bill 2 not so long ago. But the rest of it?!?
told you my mind was an odd place to be.

Actually, I’ve been reading Orson Scott card again – currently on ‘shadow of the hegemon’ last of fantastic series about an alternate future wherein children become military geniuses and save the world from both aliens and ourselves…
read this extract and tell me the guy isn’t a social genius:

“I’m talking about the cycle of life, I’m talking about finding some alien creature and deciding to marry her and stay with her forever, no matter whether you even like each other or not a few years down the road. And why will you do this? So you can make babies together, and try to keep them alive and teach them what they need to know so that someday they’ll have babies, and keep the whole thing going. And you’ll never draw a secure breath until you have grandchildren, a double handful of them, because you know then that your line wont die out, your influence will continue. Selfish isn’t it? Only its not selfish, its what life is for. It’s the only thing that brings happiness, ever, to anyone. All the other things – victories, achievements, honours, causes – they bring only momentary flashes of pleasure. But binding yourself to another person and to the children you make together, that’s life. And you can’t do it if your life is centered on your ambitions. You’ll never be happy. It will never be enough, even if you rule the world.”

that’s what I’ve been trying to say I think, except its all been said for me right here, there is more to life than making sure you hit your work targets, that you get a decent night out, that you pay your bills. Its this; Life.

Lets face it, we all blog one way or another, but isn’t the most enduring form of passing on knowledge that which we hand to our children and they in turn hand to theirs? The one thing we all long for, secretly or otherwise, is someone to hold us close – to say “Everythings ok, I Love you” and to MEAN it. Once you have that, nothing else matters.

I’ve spent more time online in the last week than I have in months and its not that I’m an addict (though I’ve called myself that often enough, and been accused of it by others) but I truly do feel more myself today than I have in ages, surfing, chatting, blogging… I’ve managed to pass on a little of myself today – just don’t tell me the results of your psycho-analysis, my fragile ego couldn’t take it LOL (uh huh, so fragile that I pompously espouse the true meaning of life and explain just what EVERYONE wants – The world according to Vicky… *sigh* so modest…)

Still, it all serves to stimulate my mind – I’m a naturally curious person anyway – not really out of any great desire to learn anything, just because.
Its not that I even really retain the knowledge I gain, nor do I really utilise it – everything I learn I learn either because I have to or because for whatever reason, at that moment in time, my curiosity was piqued. I suppose according to the values of our society at present that makes me lazy, a waste of space. Sod ‘em. It make me happy and harms none, besides at least it’s still learning, even if I don’t have any particular use for the lessons themselves…
Yet.

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