interview

The Official Interview Game Rules1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions each person’s will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

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Yes, I’ve done it.
Here’s mine – questions courtesy of Johnnie Walker.

1. I’’ve read, a few times, that various men in your life have “taken you for a ride. What do you think it is, about you, that would make these guys think they can treat you in such a fashion?

Ouch, straight in with the toughie eh!? Well…
The easy answer would be that I’m too soft with ’em I guess.
My best friend often tells me I’m ‘too nice’, obviously I tend to disagree – I can be a nasty bitch on occasion. I always try to be fair and open minded and I have the curse of believing the best of people – even when all evidence is to the contrary. I’ll give anyone the benefit of the doubt.

The more truthful answer is because I let them.
My ‘tree’ is right, I’m courageous when I have to be and even then it’s usually only on the behalf of someone else – when it comes to looking after my own interests I’m basically a limp noodle.
Mess with my friends though and I’ll kill you.
Literally. Without regret.

2. Tell us about the worst “ride” a man has ever taken you on.

HA! So many to choose from…
Well, there was that time an acquaintance gave me ‘a lift’ home when I was 18 – much fast talking on my part to stop unpleasantness happening there was… Then there was that nightmare at Alton Towers when I nearly came off the roller coaster because I was too skinny for the bar to hold me in securely…

But I’m guessing you mean my relationship faux pas.
This is the really difficult question for me because every incident is still a sore point – mainly because in hindsight I can see how stupid I was, nobody likes to be made a fool of eh?! Least of all when with a little nous they could avoid the situation coming about in the first place

I think the one that surprised me the most was Baz – I’ve kinda gotten used to the men I sleep with shitting on me (not in that way – you sick fuqs!) I mean, I could go on for days about Dave – he got the house I got the emotional baggage, Shakeel turned out to be a complete arsehole, Baz however was a friend. I don’t expect my friends to treat me like that.

Basically, his mobile phone had been stolen (so he said, I now have my doubts on that score) since he owned his own business I knew he needed it for work and as he had just moved house and lost all his ID he couldn’t get another one quickly enough…
God am I gullible or what?!

So, I let him have my soon to expire voda contract sim and talked my friend Charlotte into lending him a nice new handset until he could get another one. I called up Voda, explained he was taking it on – he gave them his address and bank details, the lass on the phone said “No problem, that’s sorted for you” and the next thing I heard about it was a phone call from a debt collection agency saying I owed them over £500 for this phone bill.

I of course caught Baz on msn and demanded to know what was going on (since the phone had been cut off I couldn’t call him) he said it was just a mistake, took all the details from me and said he’d get it sorted – according to him his last direct debit hadn’t gone through because a cheque hadn’t cleared.
This went on for months – he kept assuring me that it was being sorted and I was being threatened with CCJ’s left right and centre.
I ended up having to pay it myself as soon as I could, he still had the gall to tell me not to worry about it, that he was sorting it out – he then called the agency and told them that I was going to sort it out!

Cunt.

Needless to say, it was a stressful few months until I sorted it out and if I ever manage to find the hole that slimy little bastard crawled into… Well lets just say I’ve lost all qualms about beating him to a bloody pulp with a splintered plank of wood coverd in chilli powder.
His ‘benefit of the doubt’ ran out a long time ago. And I’m ashamed to say I still have to replace Charlottes phone.

3. Describe for us your ideal man.

No one could describe that.
I could sit here and reel off things I find attractive – nice smile (by which I mean one that totally transforms his face), grabbable arse, strong arms etc etc etc ad nauseum but who can really describe an ‘ideal’.
It changes every day as you experience and learn new things about yourself and the people around you.
What I will say is that my current bloke is my ideal of the moment.

Ok, yes, there is a small part of me waiting for the other shoe to fall – but he is head and shoulders above every other man I’ve ever dated and I can’t see that opinion changing any time soon.
He’s trustworthy, smart, loving, protective, fit as fook and funny to boot.
Plus the guy COOKS! Really really well. He massages my feet when I’m feeling naff and even cleans my house! How much more perfect could he get?!
Hmmm… Actually, I suppose he could get a car that isn’t yellow…

4. I know that you have a very lovely singing voice. Have you ever thought of pursuing a career in the music industry?

Oh yeah, I’ve thought about it. I’ve even studied popular music and recording, worked in the northwest for an entertainments agency as part of a duo (it was soul destroying) and auditioned for the ‘X-Factor’.
I still feel a little unclean and ashamed when I think of that particular audition. It put me off ever wanting to do that kind of thing because it was so blatantly false.
I sing because I love to. I love the feeling of trying a song and getting it right, I love performing and seeing other people really into what I’m doing, it’s the biggest buzz on the planet.
I remember my 21st birthday when I went to see Aerosmith do their ‘nine lives’ tour at the M.E.N.
They played my favourite track “What it takes” (from the pump album) and I was so happy I cried (Pathetic eh!) but I remember thinking then:
THIS is what I want to do – I want to be on a stage singing one of my songs and making someone out there feel like this.”

I’ve stopped thinking like that because I know it’s never going to happen – I have a good voice, not a great voice, I’m an ok lyricist but I don’t play any instruments and I’ve lost contact with all my old muso friends (except Claire) so the chances of me actually recording anything decent are slim to none.
But I’ll enjoy singing till the day I die – it’s just a big part of me, I sing when happy/ sad/ frustrated or just plain lonely. Music is a truly powerful thing.

5. I have never been to a karaoke bar outside of America. Please describe what a typical UK karaoke bar is like.

LOL well to be honest bars dedicated to karaoke are few and far between. Most pubs will have a karaoke night, these tend to be on a weekend, though you can find the odd few on a Tuesday. We even have a few Chinese restaurants that have karaoke on the go – I like those, food and song – cracking combination.

To describe a karaoke night though, you need to look at the punters.
There’s always a group or two of ‘trendy’ girls. They’re generally over dressed for the venue, get up and just sing the same songs every week and bitch about everyone else in a very catty fashion. Then there’s the lads who come in to egg on the one or two of their number who’ll get up and have a go to try and impress the girls – these 2 groups intermingle freely and there’s always some kind of drama going on.
Oh and never forget the guy with the great voice who comes in alone and you only see him when it’s his turn to sing – usually a Westlife or George Michael number. The old guys who always do ‘Mack the knife’ or ‘My way’, the pissed up bugger who’s the novelty value every week (and the bread and butter for the compère as she/ he can take the piss with impunity) Then to finish up the crowd we have the assorted comers and goers to mix it up a little and stop it from being a stale re-run every week for the regulars.

The set up varies from pub to pub. You can have a place like the Alliance where its a guy with a laptop and a mixing desk right in the corner of the lounge room, through to a place like the Stocks where they have Tv’s dotted throughout the pub so everyone can see the words and sing along to the amazingly expensive sound system and the drunk up on an actual stage.
Either way, it’s usually good fun and the majority of the people are good hearted souls just out for shits and giggles.
It’s rare there’s ever any real trouble at a karaoke. It’s not usually deemed ‘cool’ enough for the chavscum, they’d rather head to a club.

Ok, that’s me done – if you want a bash then leave me a comment saying ‘interview me’ and I’ll spend a good few hours thinking up suitable questions for you.