Laughing it up

I had another strange dream.
I was auditioning for the X-Factor, dressed as Lara Croft.

The cameras converged upon me and when I was asked the question “Why are you dressed as Lara Croft?” I calmly pulled out my gun and answered “One way or another I will be getting through.”
Don’t ask…
My song was cool though – I did “The weakness in me” by Joan Armatrading.

I’m not the sort of person
Who falls
And quickly
Of love
But to you I gave my affection
Right from the start

I have a lover
Who loves me
How could I break such a heart
Yet still you get my attention

Why do you come here
When you know I’ve got troubles
Why do you call me
When you know
I can’t answer the phone
Make me lie
When I don’t want to
And make someone else
Some kind of unknowing fool
You make me stay
When I should not
Are you so strong
Or is all the weakness in me
Why do you come here
And pretend
To be just passing by
But I mean to see you
And I mean to hold you

Feeling guilty
Waking from some tormented sleep
This old love has me bound
But the new one cuts deep

If I choose now
I’ll lose out
One of you has to fall
And I need you
And you.

It really is a fabulous song – and not one that I’d normally feel confident of carrying off because it’s fecking hard!
Still, that’s what dreams are for eh?!

Heard an amusing joke today, there we were, me and Gran, looking in the windows of a jewellers (as you do) discussing how nice it would be to just walk in and buy something without worrying where the money was coming from. This random bloke then joined in and it turned into an all out dig at ‘kids today’ who ‘don’t know they’re born’.
Yup, one of them.

After discussing the merits of gas central heating over the coal fires of old and reminiscing about stealing bags from the train stores (yup, they were really getting into it) this guy said that a mate of his was saying to his grandkids that they were so lucky these days because when he was a lad he was lucky if he got an apple and an orange for Christmas – the little kid apparantly answered in glee “you mean you got a mobile and an ipod?!”
Ba-dum pah!

It tickled my gran no end – I think the guy thought his luck was in because he carried on chatting to her for ages – what does it say about me that I just stayed where I could see if he tried a bit of pick-pocketing?

Oh – and the big news is that as of 11am this morning, I am officially divorced!
Yup – you heard it, poor Stef can no longer claim to be seeing a married woman *grin* how will he cope?!
The decree absolute has not left my side all day (literally, it’s cold out and it was in my coat pocket)
It was an incredible sensation though, I feel as though it’s finally signalled a close to the nasty portion of my life.
Seriously, I came out grinning like a loon and wanting to sing – I practically danced up to the town centre to meet my gran!

It was a pleasent surprise because I wasn’t expecting it to be done the day I applied for the Nisi to be made Absolute, but apparantly they now do all the finalising while you wait *grin*

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that being married to Stewart was hellish – he’s a great bloke whom I still have infrequent amicable contact with, but the marriage itself was a mistake brought about as a result of our situation at the time (not pregnancy before anyone starts nodding knowingly and whispering the words “shot gun”) I really think that if either of us had been in a decent headspace back then we’d have maybe had a fling and just stayed friends, but there was a lot of other crap that contributed to our decision to marry and now that the ‘mistake’ has been rectified it’s a definte closing of a chapter for me.

The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades.