There are times when everybody just wants a hug, it doesn’t always matter where the hug comes from they just need to feel the close physical presence of another person and the comfort it brings – you don’t even need to be upset or worried about anything, there’s just something in the human make-up that craves physical contact.

Ok, so maybe that’s just me, I’ve always been a tactile person – I’m no longer as upfront about it as I used to be – a few years back a hug was my version of a handshake, it took a while to accept that people (guys) didn’t always understand it was nothing more than my way of saying ‘hello nice to meet you/ good to see you again’ or ‘g’bye, it was great to see you’ Now I tend to reserve that for people who’ve known me for a while – you can always tell the length of my acquaintance with someone from the way I hug ’em, if it’s over 8 years they still get the full ‘G’bye’ body hug off me, anyone of a lesser acquaintance gets a quick ‘airkiss’ type squeeze.

You see I’ve always been a tad naive in some respects – probably still am if I’m truthful.. I just like physical contact, I’m a hugger (hence the nicknames at Uni of hugdealer and/ or cuddleslut)
When I worked at the Hard Rock there was a lad there who was quite frankly terrified of me at first *grin* he didn’t like or know how to handle girls at all – yet by the time I left there, if he didn’t get a hug he said he felt upset, as though I was pissed at him.
To me that was a compliment – he’d gone from being awkward around girls to actively seeking contact (of a non-sexual nature I should add – he’s soooo not hetero lol) and not just from me – but he was one of the people most instrumental in making me see just how inappropriate my behavior could be at times, a part of me knew it but until a long talk I had with him, I’d ignored that part of myself and held to the belief that since my intentions were always ‘pure’ so would the other persons be.

The thought that prompted those memories is that today I’m missing Stef – a lot. It’s been a week since I last saw him and talking on the phone just doesn’t cut it. Watching the wedding date and reading a mills & boon this morning did little to help lift the mood either lol

But I did what I always do when a hug is unavailable and I’m alone in need of a hug – I turned to my music. Singing is not just a release, it’s a comfort, it’s something that I can do well and I revel in the sensation of doing it – it’s not that I love the sound of my own voice because I’ll rarely listen back to anything I’ve recorded – but while I’m singing I feel ‘full’ and complete and there’s no room for loneliness or fear or worry or anything but the joy of singing.

Ok, so my choice of song to start can be a tad on the maudlin side, but it opens me up and by the end of a singing session I’m also dancing away to myself and anyone nearby will hear little squeals of laughter mixed in with the singing as I picture how it would look to anyone walking in on me.

..Which is what I’ve just been doing *grin* I happened to glance out of the open window as I was singsnapping ‘black horse and a cherry tree’ to see an elderly neighbour looking around in puzzlement for the source of the music.

I have three songs that are my ‘virtual hugs’ at the moment and will usually snap me out of any miserable mood and open me up to having some fun:

  1. Incubus – Drive
  2. Sarah MacLaclan – Building a mystery
  3. Dobie Grey – Driftaway

What are your musical hugs? What triggers the lifting of a dark mood for you? I’d be interested to know..

4 thoughts on “Comfort

  1. K. Restoule

    I guess I’m the opposite. I fear hugs. I fear people getting into my personal space. I’m pleased with being witty and charming, though too bad that I’m neither.

  2. Steve

    As you know Vicky I am in a long distance relationship with a rather delectable lady and given the various circumstances we are unable to meet up as much as we’d like to. As you also know I live on my own and am plagued by M.E. which does severely restrict one’s social activities, anyway I miss my woman, I miss her all day every day, but even a text lifts me, an e-mail more so and a phone call when I can listen to my lady is just brilliant. The longest we’ve spent together is approx 54 hrs so I haven’t known the 24/7 thing with this lady altho’ I long to experience it. So my virtual hugs are contact by whatever means, nothing else does it!

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