Worries about the future

smalldegreeI have the opportunity to progress onto the third year of a Bachelor of science honours degree next year.
However, I’m not sure if I will get the funding to do so because of my wasted year on the BA(hons) popular music and recording degree at Salford university in 2001.

I still owe nearly £7000 for that year and have nothing to show for it, that amount has been added (with interest) to the student support loans and tuition fees for my current foundation degree. Joy.

I guess I wouldn’t mind so much if it had been my own fault that I was forced to leave the music course but financially I had no choice; I had a  mortgage and a joint account with a no good boyfriend who lived purely off me and the £60 per week his folks put into his account (yes; his. After the first 3 months he stopped putting ANY money into the joint one, he just spent it – even after we split up; getting that account closed was a nightmare!)
He was a ‘serious musician’ who claimed to be a sound engineer but had aspirations to be a producer – despite every client coming back to the studio he freelanced at for a re-do because they didn’t like what he’d done..

But I’m not bitter.. much.
I received nothing for the house but debt, my student loans had all been spent on the mortgage and he got the lot; lock stock and barrel, because his folks paid off the mortgage when I left after talking me into ‘absolving myself of the debt’ (ie mortgage) it seemed the only way to stop him sponging off me.

Yes I do still occasionally kick myself now for not being stronger and fighting for what was really mine, but on the whole it was such a bad relationship that the house would have been tainted anyway so I am glad that I washed my hands and walked away to start afresh.

Mainly I’m kicking myself for what could be a lost opportunity, in the current work climate I feel that I NEED that degree in order to secure a decent salary that will afford Isabella the start in life I never had. I don’t want her to have to work 2 jobs just to pay the rent and keep food on the table like I did, I definitely don’t want her to work herself into the ground like I did – I fully blame all those hours and the stress of 2 jobs for my subsequent ill health.

If I can’t get the necessary funding then I definitely need the basic skills those lessons would teach me *sigh* if only I could audit the course even if I can’t recive the qualification, at least I could gain work experience doing projects of my own for friends! Sadly I don’t think that’s a possibility over here as I’ve only ever heard of it being an American thing – though I shall definitely raise the possibility with the career guy on friday when we discuss our options for progression (ie Bsc computer science or a more specialised computing degree)

Fingers crossed guys, next to living in a house this is what I want most in the world – to be able to get back into work and provide a decent standard of living (not to mention a good example) for my child.

2 thoughts on “Worries about the future

  1. K. Restoule

    I believe in you. You’ve worked to hard to stop now. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you on the funding front. All will work out. I know it. You just need to push harder.

    1. Vics Post author

      Those fingers did the trick my love – I had a response from the SLC (student loan company) I’m still eligible for next year AND i only need a C3 average to be automatically accepted on the pathway of my choice – I’m a B1 average *grin* just points away from an A3, fingers crossed my next 3 assignments bump that over the ‘A’ threshold!

      ..So, wanna keep your fingers crossed I get a house? 😉

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