So, 2 months ago (to the day in fact) I married the father of my child. It was long overdue (said the best man in his speech) considering said child is now 7 years old and we’d already been together 3 years before she popped in. We made pretty much everything; stationary, bouquets, buttonholes, favours, cakes (well, his mum and sister did those) and decorated the venue ourselves which helped bring the cost down (though if I were to do it again I would buy the invites and table decorations because… TIME! STRESS! I’d probably still do my own bouquet because I loved it but the buttonholes and favours.. no way – buy ’em!)
I loved my dress, my step-mum was right, it was the perfect dress for me and I’m seriously gutted that I can never wear it again unless by some miracle a wedding dress party occurs while I can still fit in it – especially since I went down 2.5 dress sizes between ordering and wearing it; stress will do that to you!
I also loved what Johnella did regards hair and facial beautification – she talked me into trying false eyelashes: here you can see my reaction after the first one was applied: never have I felt so PRETTY! Seriously; I prefer pretty over beautiful. The groom looked good (he shaved!) The food was lovely, the venue looked fab (especially after the girls spent all evening the night before dressing the place and groomzilla added to it all in a panic the following day – I never want to cover another chair as long as I live!)
I am disappointed that we don’t have a single decent photo of us together with our daughter – not the photographers fault, she wasn’t playing ball – kids eh?! and there were too many of me and not enough of everyone else but the pictures we do have are lovely as you can see.
People keep asking me “How’s married life?” I usually respond with – the same as ‘living in sin’ life – but with added paperwork and more name confusion!
Not a lie but also not strictly true. I feel more settled in myself and more secure regarding our future. That little bit of paper is such a small thing; our relationship has in no way changed nor have our finances or living arrangements, yet for me just having that outward declaration of commitment officially signed and sealed has silenced a little stress niggle, that whimper of insecurity which clouded things and left me always feeling a little unsettled. Stupid, yet oh so true but something inside me has relaxed.
I wonder if that would have been the case if we lived in a society where ‘marriage’ was not the expected result of committing to a relationship? It does make the point (for me at least) that everyone should be free to have this insecurity and doubt removed though – whether it be by a civil ceremony, church wedding or handfasting – whatever your beliefs you should be allowed the ‘last step’ that confirms what you already know in a way that everyone can understand that ‘this is it’. The people who still stand in the way of this happening for other humans are cruel and unthinking in their blinkered view of humanity and goodness.