Work rage.

I swear people really are getting dumber! Year on year I see basic academic expectations (the ability to write a coherent sentence, read a brief and follow instructions) fail to be met, even after a whole year of ‘study’. Doing away with strict entry requirements is just asking for trouble: how much more can the degree classification be devalued all in the name of bums on seats and pass rates..? The students we currently have don’t care – why should they? Paying rent and buying food is more important in their day to day life than studying – and life is tough; so the odd party is better for the soul and mental well being than reading a journal or three for an assignment which, in the grand scheme of things, is only 20% of a 15 credit module, fine, I get that. But customer culture, especially this cut-price ‘get everything for nothing’ society we appear to have nurtured, does not belong in Higher Education, not if obtaining a degree is supposed to mean something.

Turning learning into business devalues learning: valuing the trappings of knowledge over the actual attainment of knowledge is all that occurs. Current intakes seem to want the award paper without the work and will do the bare minimum required to get that bit of paper. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink - unless you're a teacher. Then you'd better force feed that nag and hope it wins tomorrows race or you're fired.Sadly, because the more bits of paper we give out the more students we get in, the bare minimum is all we really ask for in the end due to pressure from above to keep that tracking spreadsheet happy: we cry the party line of ‘extend and enhance the student experience’ and we do our best to awaken interest and engagement but the sad reality is, every year fewer students respond and the bright, engaged, interested students are like rare glimmers of gold in the dross: but we – the overworked, over measured teaching staff are always to blame for low attendance or poor pass rates.

I honestly think that some of the students we’ve had this year are ‘secret shoppers’. You know, the people who sign up for things or visit places and be disagreeable/ hard to please in order to test the service. These students must be testing to see how far they have to push to fail: It’s the only explanation! I’ve had more no-shows and lack of submissions than the last 3 years combined: no work? yes, outright fails – I could rant up a storm about marking disputes over ‘satisfactory’ evidence but where there is nothing to mark at least I don’t have to rip out my hair and pull out the .5s and the .75s just to agree a grade at moderation.

We have the constantly late-submitters who argue the toss about a lateness cap being applied due to the missed deadline: which management generally uphold because, I mean, why should our paying students have to have ‘detrimental’ consequences for their actions? What’s a week here or there  (or even a whole semester for some) if by losing the lateness cap they manage to pass overall?
…but then there’s the ‘last-minuters’ (who management want us to get through by whatever means necessary as ‘the pass rate is the most important thing’) they, upon receiving a prescriptive list of the submission requirements for a basic pass (along with specific submission directions) proceed to send in a part submission via email, then another bit via StudyNet and even odd bits by hand on USB (never just one whole submission via the required directed submission route) and each time I have to point out the bits they’ve failed to address from the aforementioned list, resulting in multiple marking and feedback sessions for one assignment AFTER the official deadline – when it’s supposed to be one deadline, one submission!

These idiots (yes, idiots! I stand by the description – I’d even go so far as to call them fucking morons because really, why pay for a course and teaching expertise if you refuse to engage with it? What a waste of my time and your cash!) these idiots who have been chased and chased and reminded and cajoled and handheld through the entire process,  just shrug and begrudgingly offer up what can, at best, be generously called ‘evidence of work’ but in such piecemeal fashion that I have to keep returning it to them for improvements that need to be done just to meet the most basic pass criteria; and it all has to be checked IN MY OWN TIME because as an hourly paid  zero point contract employee I only get paid for timetabled contact time and agreed meeting hours: email and ‘informal meetings’ are not covered by my wage – yet we have to get these ungrateful, entitled, work-shy feckers to pass, otherwise the almighty spreadsheet may show crappy figures resulting in a discontinuation of the programme and therefore a loss of job for me: but what do these morons REALLY learn through this process other than helplessness and a lack of personal responsibility pays off?

I don’t mind extra help for the ones who attend, really try but struggle to ‘get it’ I’m happy to see them on my day off (well, willing) but these entitled bullshitting motherfuckers who obviously feel that their life is more important than mine: because obviously I have nothing better to do than work around them, I LIVE to respond immediately to their extension requests and stupid excuses. UUUUUUurrrrrgh! If I got paid for the hours these idiots waste I’d own my own home.

This is why no employer wants somebody who has just about scraped a pass in their degree: they know the quality of employee they will get – bottom feeders suck. If it wasn’t for the 1-2 students a year who really engage I think i’d have quit by now because some days teaching really is a thankless stressful unrewarding drudge.