Little reminders

So I do remember being a student, I remember the sickening stress of not knowing what the hell I was doing and constantly feeling unsure I’d done everything ‘right’ – mainly because I feel like I still get that feeling in my job with each new directive that comes out.

But today I realised that no, I don’t remember what it was like and no, I don’t get that feeling in my job.

Because I attempted a zumba class this morning, and today I DID get that feeling. It didn’t matter that I KNOW it’s not important, or that it’s not a test or even something I ever have to do again. As I was fruitlessly attempting to follow the lovely lady taking the class I could feel the tears gathering at the back of my throat, watching myself dumpily waddling through a very poor approximation of the moves and in more cases standing there with a confused look on my miserable face I realised that THIS is what my uni students are going through when they come to me for help with their writing, even some of my college students must feel this sickening wrench of hopeless defeat as they realise they JUST DON’T GET IT. ..and like I did today, many will just pack up their stuff and walk out before the time is up.

It was a reminder to me that I need more patience because no matter how much I think I remember, I cannot ever truly understand what they are going through as they struggle to achieve the goals we set them.