Category Archives: films and tv

I had an idea for a reality TV show today.

This is not the first idea I’ve had but it is the first I wish would be picked up and polished by someone who could make it happen.

The show is a weekly reality ‘contest’ for positive social impact involving celebrities. The incentives to participate are great personal PR, promotion of any pet causes they have and public exposure on prime time TV that they can also use as a platform for self-promotion of anything they’re trying to sell: little ‘behind the scenes’ type discussions/ sneak previews about their latest product line/ album/ project can be included in the main show: this is reality TV, they’re still being celebrities while participating and that’s a job too: expect to see overlap.

The show would air on Saturday night after a week of anonymous work is documented and unveiled, there would be a set criteria for social impact points allocation from a panel of judges plus a telephone/ sms vote for each contestant: the person with the most telephone votes gets an extra 5 impact points.

They would initially have an equal ‘pot’ for expenses but this amount would change each week depending on their standing. The celebs who have had the least impact can choose to do some kind of community service on Sunday to build up points that may be bartered for extra help or resources to even the playing field – these points may alternatively be saved to add to their total personal impact points for the season. Each contestant would also be appointed a small team comprising an assistant (their public face so as to remain anonymous, this person will change each week to avoid public recognition), a web designer and a multimedia consultant. The contestants would then, each week, have to devise ways of creating positive effects for the social cause of their choice (though not allowed to be anything they are already a patron of or any of the ‘big’ national charities – has to be something small where impact can be easily measured) the episodes would document the meetings and resulting tasks (bit like the apprentice) and show how the celeb works around the restriction of required anonymity.
Every episodes winning celeb would get a slightly bigger pot the following week plus a bonus. The kicker is – the choice of bonus use is up to the public and can either:

1. Go into a prize fund that is built up over the series. To be claimed by the person who is deemed overall to have done the most good based on accumulated ‘impact points’, to be used as they see fit: all restrictions on causes are lifted for the prize fund and each week the celebs get to promote what they’d do with it to soften the blow if they don’t get the final cash: this way they do have a platform for ongoing awareness raising for their pet causes.

3. Be used to take the winning team out for an ‘experience’ as a reward for a job well done – a randomly chosen text/ phone voter each week gets to accompany them on the experience and offer suggestions for the following weeks cause (pay to play lottery type thing – shows need funding after all)

This vote would take place during a ‘take 2’ type follow up show (after all contest votes are tallied) which enables the winning/ last place celebs to discuss the tasks and push whatever thing was their incentive for doing the show.

The idea is that the contestants would each aim to have the most positive impact but they could spend none of their own money or use their celebrity status to do this – so no tweeting a go-fund me or kickstarter under their own name for example: they can however form alliances amongst themselves for mutual exposure and use their celebrity contacts so long as they themselves all remain anonymous throughout the episode – so no celebrity friends stating “@x is trying to [action] for [cause] go do [thing]” that would be cheating and they’d forfeit the week and any accumulated points.

I’m not decided on whether it should be 4-8 recurring celebs and each week 2-4 face off so that they only have to commit every other week to the show, or if every week all 4-8 compete against each other Meh. You see the kernel of the idea here: let’s see it happening eh?!

Female obsession with love and marriage

I have a slightly guilty pleasure; don’t tell the bride and a constantly changing selection of mills and boon. This combined with the not so guilty but just as pleasurable collection of rom-com chick flicks on my shelves would make an alien observer use the word ‘obsessed’ to describe my relationship with love and relationships – and I’m not alone.

Every girl I know has at least one chick-lit paperback on her shelves, several films of the rom-com persuasion and a delight in discussing and dissecting relationships – their own and other peoples. Which is why very few relationships stand the test of time; everyone is searching for perfect as opposed to perfectly acceptable.

I’ve just watched ‘The accidental husband‘ (again) and while I truly enjoy the film it does show just why a lot of relationships are doomed to failure and why some people hardly stand a chance even before the thought of a relationship can take place.

Uma Thurman (oddly gorgeous) is a radio ‘love doctor’ offering one-sided advice based upon the snippets of information provided about a relationship by her listeners. Colin Firth is the the intelligent, dependable and handsome man she’s engaged to marry. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is the ruggedly gorgeous fly in her otherwise perfect future.

Now, right there – before telling you about the plot of the film you can see the problem for most people; ‘gorgeous’ and ‘handsome’.

About 10% of the population fall into the gorgeous category the rest of us have to middle along with descriptions like pretty, cute, plain or downright ugly – the occasional ‘striking’ may feature but on the whole we’re average and worried about it; which is why we bankrupt ourselves to overcompensate with balms, lotions, hairstyles, clothing, accessories, fancy cars, the latest tech and other mainly meaningless trappings.

So every day from birth we’re bombarded with the message that to find true happiness with another you have to be gorgeous or at the very least good looking – and good looking all depends on the latest crop of models and celebrities on show; people who have a stable of helpers to make them look the way they do practically every day of the week. Who has that kind of help in real life?

I mean.. Good looking is subjective really; look at the guy playing Edward Cullen in the Twilight films; people are going gaga over him but for me he does nothing. I can’t understand how he got picked for a part that calls for ‘unearthly beauty’ but there you go – I don’t bother with potions, lotions, hairstyles and accessories to try and look good 90% of the time either so perhaps there’s a link.

..Anyway – back to my point (I do have a point, stick with me)

In the film Uma dumps her solid, dependable, perfectly acceptable, attractive fiancee at the alter (well, actually he does the intelligent thing and bows out amicably because he is, after all, almost perfect) and goes for the impulsive, sensitive,reliable, fun-loving, family oriented, misunderstood hero instead. The GORGEOUS impulsive, sensitive, reliable, fun-loving, family oriented, misunderstood hero.

Thereby reinforcing the ‘fact’ that every woman deserves to find the fairytale man. Who doesn’t exist. (..and the rich gorgeous, vulnerable yet strong, fun-loving female stereotype for the guys is just as rare)

I’m guessing if she’d been poor then he’d have been rich as well but because she makes a good living it’s ok for him to be poor; I can’t recall a rom-com where both hero and heroine are poor and struggling to make ends meet without some kind of lottery win easing the way for true love.

This is what makes ‘Dont tell the bride’ such compelling watching; the main reason most of these couples apply to the show is because they can’t afford to get married without the £12,000 injection the show gives them.

None of the women trust the guy to do a good job because they’re either terrible with money, planning or just plain lazy (or all three) but they love the guy and really want him to prove them wrong – to rise to the occasion and show that they can be relied on; otherwise it’s an omen for the rest of their lives and confirmation that they have to really think about what they’re planning to do.

From watching this show I can say no man will ever pass the test with flying colours – at best they’ll scrape through on emotion and the brides ability to accept and work around perceived faults; because, lets face it, if you can’t do that you’re not really in love with the other person are you? ..and this works both ways; it’s not always the man who’s at fault you know.

No-one is perfect, no-one will ever tick all the boxes for you. You just have to decide which qualities are the deal breaker for you and work around the rest. This was really evident in the latest episode of the show, Kayliegh very nearly broke off the relationship completely because Simon failed SPECTACULARLY. It was edge of seat viewing I assure you. I’ve never seen a more clueless groom (he trusted the budget to a roulette wheel ffs!) That’s the first time I’ve honestly thought the wedding wouldn’t go ahead.

What was interesting to me was Stef’s view of the show; he’d not looked at it as a test of the man by the bride – he saw it as all about the money and being on TV and any woman who broke off the relationship because he screwed up the wedding was shallow and didn’t value the sanctity of marriage – a good show was more important to her than the relationship.

He seemed just as stunned with my view as I was his – which highlights how difficult maintaining a relationship is for anyone because no viewpoint will ever mesh unless it’s discussed and both sides understood.

The deal breakers for me are an inability to communicate, gambling and mind games; which is why Stef is perfect for me – none of the above apply but the qualities I admire the most; intelligence, humour, sensitivity and affection, do.

(..and yes dear – MANLY too; sensitivity does not detract from your machismo I assure you *kisses the guns*)

Been busy..

I’ve not been fully with it on the communication front for the last few days, my online experince has been pared down to about 4 twitters and the deletion of spam from my email accounts.

I’ve had too much going on in the real world to spare the concentration for my virtual life (that and I just couldn’t summon up the energy to type) I’ve been visiting the family, well, some of the family.

I spent more time with my brother Richard on this visit than I have in the last god knows how many years – normally when I head down to Daventry he’s there for about 5 minutes then he heads out to see his mates or go to the gym which means that normally I spend the lions share of my time with the younger brother, Kenneth.
This time around, not only did I get to see both brothers for some QT but I caught up with my cousins as well, Ria is doing so well for herself that i’m a tad jealous, Jasmine is very much on my wavelength, I spent practically a full 2 days in her company and they were most enjoyable. her fella makes me laugh though. Rob is the politest young man you’ve ever come across in your life and it’s obvious they adore each other, I also got my first glimpse of her engagement ring so I guess I need to stop calling Rob just a ‘boyfriend’ now that he’s a bona fide fiance..

Anyhow, he deserves the ‘bowchikawow woww’ thrown his way by the 2 young girls at the end of his street (much hilarity this caused.. Especially when he then admitted he’d slammed the door shut rather swiftly as said young women started walking towards him.. Coward *grin*)

I have to say though, the Hartleys and the Stringers are an incredibly good looking family. I saw my cousin Stephen for the first time in over 10 years and WOW! I mean on a phwoaaar rating he’s 100! I couldn’t believe it, in fact I was mildly disturbed to realise that if I’d been single and unaware of who he was .. I so would!
Seriously, he’s a stud!
This was an admission that mildly nauseated my brother so of course I had to big it up some *grin* y’know, as sisters do when they find something to tease you with.
But it got me thinking, for all our mental quirks, we are a pretty bunch. Well, mostly, I’m about mid range, my brothers (much as I hate to admit it) are quite high on the attractiveness scale, but Sues kids are stunners and Vals are not far behind and Joans were always acclaimed for being purdy lil thangs – the next generation look set to be heartbreakers too..

Yup, did the genetic ego some good seeing that lot, any kids I have are definitely drawing from a cracking looking gene pool *grin* especially if they’re lads judging from the way things are weighted at the moment.
Modest much? *chuckle*

I also saw Spiderman 3 while I was there. Not impressed.
In the car on the way back Jasmine pointed out that you could’ve had at least 2 films for the sake of that one and I had to agree.
The Sandman plotline was unnecessary, lose him and keep Harry as an amnesiac throughout this one and there’s a plausible next film already written, just let him team up with the Sandman when he remembers his hatred of spidey. this time could’ve concentrated on developing the enmity between Peter/spidy and the new photographer, Basically it was pants. too many characters, too many plotlines and not enough cohesion.

..Though we did laugh at ’emo peter’ that cocky walk had us in stitches! Cringing with it of course but I don’t think there was a single girl in the cinema not chuckling in horrified amusement at his transormation.

Oh what a beautiful morning!

It is absolutely gorgeous out there today. Bit cold still, but the front room seems so warm and inviting when the sun streams through like this – and to think I used to avoid the sun where possible (well, ok so I’m not planning on going outside in it for long, but i’m not hissing behind closed curtains either)

We need bread and stuff so I’m going to walk up to aldi later and i’m actually going to hang some washing outside for the first time this year, that will probably wipe me out but i’m in such a good mood I hope it doesn’t – I may ring Kay and see if she fancies karaoke tonight – it’s been soooooooooo long!

Right, the tunes are pumping (quietly) I’m on the Joss Stone, Maroon 5, Amy winehoouse, Garbage, Nickleback, Frou Frou and Damien Rice playlist today, it’s quite fitting for the weather I feel.

Just thought I’d share this dream I had with you the other night, it’s been a while since I did that *grin*

Basically I was a scriptwriter and this is the sketch I was working on for some comedy/drama thing:

Greg – oily smarmy character with a hint of boyishness about him (think guy secretan from green wing)

Olivia – Fairly uptight and insecure, streak of ruthlessness and the ability to melt at the slightest compliment which then completely transforms her actions towards that person.

Sarah – Basically a female guy, feminine lager drinking football supporting.. Jodi Kidd type

The back story is that Greg and Sarah get it on, he shows his true colours she vows to get even. Knowing he loves his car more than life itself she arranges for it to be crushed on reality tv show ‘revenge’.
Unfortunately Greg is not around to see this happen because he is at a conference with Olivia (whom he hates) However, the show is aired live on tv and Greg see’s it in his hotel room, first outrage then grief as he collapses and changes the channel because he cannot bear to see his pride and joy being mangled. This is when Olivia walks in to see whats wrong (she knew about the revenge thing because Sarah asked her to let her know his reaction) Amazed that he isn’t watching the revenge show despite constant priming throughout the day she asks whats up.

Unable to speak, Greg merely gestures at the tv which is now showing a program on the plight of abused children in thailand, tears are streaming down his face and Olivia backs out of the room quickly.

She calls Sarah who is also sobbing wildly. (cut to split screen to see both sides of the conversation)
Olivia: whats wrong – didn’t the car get mashed?

Sarah: Of course it did! it’s not that. I’ve just seen something really crappy on tv is all – its just total shit that this kind of thing still goes on *sniff*
Olivia: um..its not that Thailand documentary on channel 4 is it?

Sarah: Yes actually – now cheer me up, what did Greg say about the car?

Olivia: ah.. well..

Sarah: *giggles* he’s livid isn’t he?

Olivia: No actually he’s in tears in there, completely unable to speak – I think-


Olivia: no, let me finish – he never actually saw it happen, I don’t think he knows yet..

Sarah: what do you mean ‘he doesn’t know yet’?

Olivia – well he was just watching the same documentary as you and I’ve never seen a grown man so affected, he’s sobbing like a baby in there, curled up around the remote as if he’s lost his best friend.. Listen (holds phone up and the sound of sobbing from the next room is clearly audible)
Sarah: SHIT!

Olivia: yep – if he’s that bad over some kids he doesn’t know – you may just send him over the edge with this little stunt.. best find him a new car quick if I were you.

Sarah: I didn’t know he was so sensitive, c’mon – did you?! He must be so insecure to hide himself behind that crappy persona of his.. oh my god! what am I going to do? I can’t be responsible for him cracking up – not now.. I mean.. shit!

Olivia: Uh huh, I told you it was a bad idea..

(cut to next scene where Sarah is frantically trying to find someone who stocks Gregs car – a futile task because it’s a classic)

There was a hell of a lot more, in my dream i had practically the whole series down – but this is the scene that had me in stitches – just the look of shocked horror on her face when sarah realises what she may have done.. Priceless *grin* Stef wasn’t half as tickled by this as I was but I guess you have to have ‘seen’ it in it’s entirety – it’s like green wing (which is where I assume I got my muse) you need to have come to like and know the characters to really ‘get’ it.

Right, I’d best get on with my day methinks – the shower won’t start itself..

Isn’t life grand?!

In an abrupt change of mood from the last few days i’m going to bed full of the joy of life – no I don’t mean i’m preggers, I am however pretty happy right now.

Since I wasn’t at a band practice and Stef didn’t feel like cooking we went to the cinema and had a bite to eat at Frankie & Bennys. The film was TRE-mendous! what an absolute corker of A1 entertainment *grin* I kid you not – i’ve not laughed like that in months!

The name of this delightful explosion of belly laughs? Why obviously it had to be:


We’ve been waiting for this to come out for a while and thankfully it didn’t disappoint. There are moments of complete gross out (you’ll know the ones I mean when you see it) because they didn’t stint on the ‘oldskool special effects’ but the humour is superb. I’d love to be in a film with these guys because it looks like it’d be just one big laugh from start to end.
Now I cannot wait for their next effort *grin* Sean of the dead was ok, this was fantastic – surely they can only get better? Either way, this is one for the purchase list no two ways about it.

High school musical

I’ve seen this thing everywhere – and I do mean everywhere, Claire started talking about it tonight because apparantly all her kids love it (by ‘her kids’ I mean the ones she teaches music to) so I asked her what the deal was – this sparked off a huge discussion with her sister about the best tunes and why it reminded them of the brit school etc etc

After about 5 minutes of this I repeated the ‘whats so good about it?’ question and they put it on.

I don’t think I’ve laughed so much in ages – yes, most of the tunes are quite cool and catchy, some of the characters are amusing and look as though they’re supposed to be, but the acting?! Oh man! I know it’s a kids film but some of it was so wooden and well.. crap that I had to laugh. But in a way that was part of the reason I enjoyed the film – it reminded me so much of some of the people I’ve known in my life – both from school and the 4 years I studied theatre and from my musical experiences. The characters are 2 dimensional at best but it’s a light fluffy film with a bouncy score, great for kids and ok for a nights entertainment if you’re not up for anything even remotely taxing.

Not one I’d rush out to buy though..

We also ate out at some American diner type place in Cheam.. I wasn’t that impressed – Stefs turned me into a food snob. I was actually horrified when the waiter came over and asked if we were finished with the dressings (they came in 4 bowls with tea spoons on a tray) he then handed them over to another table – surely that’s a hygiene no-no? for all he knew we’d licked the spoons (we hadn’t but that’s beside the point)

I had a chicken salad because my stomachs been dodgy all day and I figured I was safer with raw food.. Didn’t expect the chicken to show up that way though – I know a little pink can be a sign of well cooked chicken so I wasn’t too fussed at first, but as I peeled away the layers of flesh it went from slightly pink to white to red and that can’t be good.
At least the chocolate fudge cake was as expected. You can’t go wrong with hot fudge.

Oh.. and the thing that tickled me the most today?
I overheard a conversation between 2 builders while travelling from Clapham junction to Sutton, one was extolling the virtes of an eatery somewhere near timperly road – whilst giving directions to the other lad he said “It’s just at the corner of the road that lad was shot the other week” I had to bite my cheeks to keep from laughing out loud.

A. surely there is something a little more permanent to use as a landmark

B. would you really seek out a place to visit in an area known for gun crime?

No wonder the food is so cheap mate.

This week oive been mostly..


Yup, the CFS has reared it’s ugly little head and attempted to steal my life again – this time around though I haven’t crumpled into a weeping wreck at the unfairness of it all. Stef took me into town on wednesday so I could meet up with Dawn, he’s a good lad really, there should be more about like him!

I’ve cancelled so many meetups with Dawn through this illness that I’m amazed she still bothers with me so I really didn’t want to miss this one but I just couldn’t face the bus journey – even though I’d been in bed for a good 4 hours in an attempt to gather some energy for the outing. Anyhow, Stef drove me in despite it being 5pm and the journey back was likely to be murder for him, I got there not long after she did and we went in to watch a cracking film.

I definitely recommend ‘The Holiday’ to anyone who likes a film that makes you laugh, cry and wince a little at the outright stupidity of some people..

Anyhow, I made it home and basically collapsed, but it was worth it. I do love a good film, and seeing Dawn is always fun.

Not a lot..

We were driving along in the car the other day, listening to radio 2, as you do..
Who should be talking but that national treasure of ours Paul Daniels himself.
He’s a clever bod is our Paul. Not only is he renowned for his magic show, but he’s done a fair old few of the celeb reality shows about – and the guy also allows his hidden geek free rein with this website.
That’s right, apparantly he’s been all webbed up since before most people knew what the internet was! He’s a gadget freak of the highest order and does all his own coding.

I’m so impressed! *grin*
I loved Paul Daniels as a kid, and he seems to be making a comeback, seriously – the guy is everywhere. I may have to go to one of his shows for old times sake at some point..

happy happy yeah yeah

Went to the Trafford centre to see that new Heath Ledger film today – you know the one…

Even if I hadn’t thought it a very well made, scripted and acted film (Though this is the second film I’ve seen Jeremy Irons in and thought: ham… cheese… ham…) the laugh out loud segments were made all the sweeter because this was a FREE preview.
Yup I paid NADA for the pleasure of giggling away a good 2 hours of my day. Gotta love these online competitions eh?!

Ive just been in a really good mood all day, which is nice *grin*. I bumped into a friend I haven’t seen for a while on the way home and have semi-arranged a night out when I get back from London, Hmmm… Actually, it’s possible that I’m in such a good mood because not only do I get to see my best mate in 2 days time, I also get to go karaoke with a few people I’ve ‘spoken’ with on the KI forums and you know why this makes me happy?

The tunes this woman has in her book! Never have I seen a karaoke featuring Megadeath, Tool, White Zombie and Nine Inch Nails!!!
But I’m thinking rather than symphony of destruction and closer, I’ll try the Limp Bizkit version of ‘Faith’ (just because it appeals to my humour) Massive attacks ‘Teardrop’ because it’s a gorgeous tune and I’d love a chance to do it – and whoomp there it is by Tag Team – purely because it reminds me of a time in Daventry when I loved going out to Madisons and chatting to Darren the DJ (who also happened to be our DM, he’d written and illustrated a new role play system, I was one of the playtesters – it was BRILLIANT!)

Anyhow, lets just say… this is going to be a fun weekend!

dvd consumerism

*chuckle* internet retail therapy is bad.

Truly, it is – amazon is… Well, lets just say they must love me over in the banking department *sigh* but I can console myself in the fact that my shopping basket this time started out at £114.97 and I whittled away at my possible purchases until it came to under £40.
Now that’s will power *grin*
Sadly it means my wishlist is growing. Damn this consumerism… But can you blame me when ‘classics’ like this and this are screaming out to me at such low low prices lol

What can I say? I used to adore Christian Slater, pump up the volume was a phenomenal film in my opinion – and it only made me love him that little bit more than my eagerly awaited gleaming the cube did…
…and Bette Midler? I’m having a Bette-fest when these babies show up!
God, I’m such a sad puppy.

…Easily pleased though *grin*

charmed, i’m sure.

I was a bit disappointed in last nights episode of charmed.
I hope the internal soliloquies were a one off because of the earlier sex in the city references, it ruined it for me though – I’m used to the characters pushing the story along through their acting and a generally well written script – all that internal dialogue about signs and symbols was just an irritating and needless distraction for me.
It’s one of the reasons I’m not a big sex in the city fan – I’m more of a stanislavski afficionado than a Brechtian one, part of the joy of watching fantasy stuff is being sucked in for the duration, it’s an escape thing – I’ve never liked the Brecht line.
I also get the feeling Alyssa Milano wanted to be a lot more to the forefront of the action… Which sucks, good shows should not mess with the format like that! What makes this show so good is the balance between the main characters. Just because she’s now one of the main producers does not mean she should push her own character to the forefront in that way!

Leo now seems to have forgotten that the driving force behind his character was the need to help people, You would expect him to sympathise more with Pipers guilt trips, still I suppose in their infinite wisdom a wetter Leo made this transition an easier one.
I’m definitely disappointed in the new witch they have working with them though, not because they’ve introduced a new character – that’s always a good thing, but this girl sucks, she over acts and it seems as though they’ve only picked her for her looks. Why do I forsee a spin off series when the show ends..?
Stef even called her the charmed equivalent of buffy. I realise that by season 8 some of the writers may be running out of steam, but if it does continue in this vein I’ll be either switching over to check out that new catwalk project or heading back out to karaoke.

On the plus side though, Both Rose and Holly put in sterling performances, and this new Dex bloke is not only very easy on the eye, he seems like another Dan, I wonder if they’ll pull the same trick on Pheobe as before and have him turn out to be a supernatural being..?

Anyway, enough charmed bashing. I’d best get my arse in gear and make a start on that choker for Dawn since I’m seeing her tomorrow night.

The sun is out.. The sky is blue..

I’ve had a pretty good day today – even if it did suck when the alarm went off at the crack of dawn.
Had to go to the hospital today to see the immunologist, he was lovely – he’s also referring me for CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy to you lot) In an attempt to help me manage the CFS better. I’ve got mixed feelings on this – he assures me it isn’t ‘counseling’ as such, but the stuff I’ve read on the matter and the things I’ve heard make me doubt him. Guess I’ll just have to see for myself eh?!

I also watched the wedding date and unleashed today.
I was a bit gutted with unleashed because I normally like jet Li and other martial arts films, but this was… a bit hard to swallow (I know, most martial arts story lines are, but this one was even more far fetched than usual) the wedding date however…
Perfect chick flick – complete with lovey dovey ‘yey’ feelings at the end of it – my man is always happy when I watch films like this – they bring out the affectionate side of my nature *grin* and I was pleased to see that ‘Grace’ looked stunning all the way through it, I love her in the sitcom, but this film showed she’s a pretty damned good straight actress too (no pun intended there)

I’d also like to say hi to my visitor from Salford Uni – I remember the computers in the library and commend you on your patience in waiting for this blog to load up lol aren’t they awful and speaking of my stats – here are 2 of the interesting keyword searches that early 2006 has brought me:

  1. Photo’s of implanted big penis
  2. fucking that old lady in the tail

Not quite sure why I’d be brought up but hey! There ya go eh?!
On a much more puzzling note – I think someone’s feckin’ with me.
I got fan mail. No. Breathe… You can laugh and breathe at the same time…
Really – I did.

She even asked if I’d ever thought of writing for the Guardian!
Since I don’t think I’ve ever read the Guardian I’m not sure if that’s a thinly veiled insult or a real compliment to my writing ability, but either way the email brought a smile to my face and I shall be thanking said ‘fan’ shortly.

The thing is, it reminded me of an incident from school.
(sucks when that happens doesn’t it)
now when I say I wasn’t a beauty at school it’s no real exaggeration:

Here you see me looking just like my youngest brother, Rob, but with long hair – and he didn’t have protruding teeth like I did – goofy was one of the kinder nicknames I had.

Anyway, one valentines day I was putting my books back into my locker when I found a card, unsigned, from an ‘admirer’ they wanted me to meet them at the shops for lunch so they could ask me out.
I was spared from what I’m almost certain was a cruel and humiliating prank by a dental appointment, but a part of me has always wondered who sent that card and did they really mean it?

Awake and reporting for duty SAH!

Perhaps I should be wide awake and miserable all night more often *grin* I finally went back to bed at about 8.30am and slept through till 12.30 – and I woke up feeling better than I have for days – I’ve even done some cleaning (though the boy will probably scoff at that since he’s a neat freak and my idea of cleaning is a little ‘lax’ compared to his)
The laundry is mainly done, I’ve filled out form D36 in readiness for monday (I get to apply for my divorce to be made final before heading up to Grans to dispense gifts and cards to all and sundry)

Or maybe it’s just that I know tonight we get to see the big reveal on Space Cadets.
Yup, those poor people get told it’s all a hoax this evening, proof positive that life can be a bit shit on occasion but there is always going to be someone worse off than you.
At least they’re getting a real trip to Russia out of it, I wouldn’t mind experiencing weightlessness and getting a few thousand pounds, but I doubt I’d be able to appreciate it as much if I’d been had on national tv beforehand like these guys.

Space cadets

The flat is looking fantastic the front room is all done, the bathroom is nearly finished and it feels like a whole new place!

We’ve been getting stuck into the new reality show on channel 4 – space cadets.
It’s bloody brilliant! I’m not normally a one for reality shows but this one really is different.
There are 9 cadets and 3 actors in the mix, they’ve been sent to a russian military base to take part in the first televised space tourism programme.
The catch? well, it’s all a big con.
The thing that got me most about it though, these guys didn’t know exactly what it was they were signing up for and they weren’t told until it was time to get on the airplane taking them to Russia – what they were told is that they had to nominate the friend or family member that they trusted the most in the world and that person would decide on whether they should take part in whatever the programme was.

The thing is, the cadets don’t know it’s a hoax with them as the willing victims – the family members do.
Gits eh?!

I have to say though – the work that’s gone into this is phenomenal – When that poor scottish lad was ‘not on list’ I could just picture the sickening gut clenching going on there as the ‘russian soldier’ walked off the plane at the Russian airport with his passport…
Seriously – it’s brilliant, if you’re not watching it then I pity you for missing out.
I just wish it was a longer show, I’m sure there must be loads more footage we’re missing out on. The follow up satelite show on E4 definitely needs longer, the presenter just starts getting interesting with the guests and he has to cut ’em off to move on to the next one – it’s a shame really because the subjects quite an interesting one – especially with guys like the conspiracy theorist wanting to explain how the moon landing was also a big hoax.

There’s a lot of talk of possible humiliation for the ‘cadets’ when all is revealed, but I think if I were one of them, the worst thing would be the disappointment.
They’re all so excited and it is a big thing – if it were true. To have all that excitement taken away by being told “sorry, only joking ha ha ha” I think, yeah – they can probably all take a joke and yes they will all appreciate the staggering amount of work put into this deception and no doubt join in the laughter at the unveiling. But to have that expectation fostered, nurtured then taken away…

I think there’ll be a lot of secret tears in the days afterwards when the laughter wears off.


I’ve been reading the forums on the C4 website and it appears that now everyone has jumped onto the ‘the audience are the butts of the joke’ bandwagon. It’s kinda funny really – most people are calling the cadets ‘muppets’ for being taken in, but to be honest if they were in the same position surrounded by people and things that match all the information about your situation as you’ve been told it – why wouldn’t you believe it? I know I would. It’s the chance of a lifetime and they’re getting it for free – who’d question that?
If you want to believe something is true you will – even when all evidence points to the opposite.
How else can you explain all those couples who turn a blind eye to infidelity? The people who continue working in a job they hate because they are in line for a promotion or payrise that never seems to show up.
So now that they’ve sneered at the contestants enough they’re turning on the show itself and claiming the cadets are in fact all actors in on the scam and that we, the audience, are the ones being hoaxed.
This makes no sense to me, what possible hoax could they pull on the general public? Unless the people being hoaxed are the friends and family of the contestants there is no payoff – every hoaxer wants a payoff, especially if that hoaxer is a commercial station needing content and financing.

I think I’ll leave this subject for now, I can see I need C4 to hurry up and authorise my membership so I can join in these online debates… Fun fun fun people!

society today..

This depressed me.

I’m only 29 and I can’t even chew steak properly *sniff* as to crusty bread… If I attempted something like that I’d end up bleeding – or at the very least howling in pain.
I should have been Chinese.

I was also disturbed last night by a program called ‘Little Monsters’.
Apparantly it’s ok for little kids to gang up and verbally abuse grown men before hitting them with long strips of rubber tubing – I’m sorry but what kind of message is this sending out?

The TV standards comittee have it all arsewise to my mind. We’re turning Japenese, I think we’re turning Japanese – I really think so. (name the tune and the group for bonus credits *grin*)
If a programme doesn’t contain gratuitous stupidity, a generous dollop of humiliation and petty malice then it’s obviously not worth airing.
I’m actually beginning to see where the nutters who claim certain shows and games promote violence get the idea. Being force fed these ‘reality’ shows isn’t helping the IQ or standards of common decency and consideration for others that this country used to be known for.
The youth of today… *shakes head sadly* See, now I know I’m getting old.
But seriously, they all seem to be buying into this ‘gangsta’ culuture thing, Ali G Hasn’t helped matters either, though the guy who came up with the character is himself obviously quite intelligent.
Things like Bo Selecta (satire my arse) Jackass (need we say more) and pretty much every ‘reality’ show going offer nothing to enrich your mind. Ok, the two Ronnies may be dated, but at least they managed to be funny while using big words – none of which were expletives.