Category Archives: films and tv

..and a glass of white wine for the lady

I watched Tv the other night – not a strange or unusual thing in itself – what was unusual was the sheer volume of outright belly laughter issuing forth upon watching ‘An audience with Al Murray’.

Serious, the dude had us in stitches – and I’ve been unable to get the national anthem out of my head ever since either (small price to pay methinks…)
Just a couple of snippets for you (please bear in mind this is from memory, I can’t be arsed searching for a transcript – assuming one exists)

“…Then there’s Canada – do you know, there’s some people living Montreal way who believe they’re actually french? They’re not, they’re Canadian – they just happen to live somewhere shit so it’s a reflex action on their part”

“…Americans are great – they live the dream.
See, in this country – we don’t have a dream, No, In Great Britain, there is no dream – you know why we have no dream here – It’s because we’re AWAKE!”

“I’m all for equality in the work place – that’s why I let my female emplyees work as much overtime as they like so they get a chance to earn as much as the men”

And so on and so forth – politically correct? No.
Funny as fuck? YES YES YES.
*wipes a tear away*
For the first time I can remember I was actually proud to be British. Which is kinda disturbing…
God bless Comedians.

prelude to a kiss

Sean’s just told me about ‘Jump day’ I’ll share that with you in a minute but first I have to gush about the film I just watched.

Prelude to a kiss.
It’s the most romantic film I have ever watched in my life! And trust me – I watch a LOT of chick flicks.
The acting is phenomenal, which is saying a lot considering I’m not usually a Meg Ryan fan (actually she kinda sucked a bit) but the old guy… WOW!
He became Rita, you could see the change occur in him, Meg just looked confused and upset – No big stretch for her, she’s got 3 expressions: Manically happy, depressed or confused.
Master Baldwin… Well – Lets just say, if I were dating him I’d be suspicious of his declarations of love after seeing that film, you believed he loved her – which is what made it work so well.
The most romantic thing in the world is seeing people who truly love.
It’s also one of the most depressing because you always feel as if they have something you will never know.
C’mon, who loves someone and knows them so well that they would recognise that person in another body?!
Much as I’d like to say I would, I’d be lying.

You never truly know anyone. If you did, there’d be a lot less misery in the world methinks. Anyway, the film didn’t make me cry at any point (unusual since that’s usually how I decide whether it’s a good chick flick or not) but it did leave me with a sense of longing.
Sean of course slated it – pig that he is. I told him to shut up and proceeded to do the *holds hand up* “NU… Shhh… Not a word! Stop. Right. There. Leave it….” Until he subsided and went to look up interesting stuff to make me chuckle.

Which is where ‘World Jump day‘ comes in – I pissed myself laughing as he attempted to describe it to me.
Picture it the way my twisted little mind works (should be easy since I know only a deviant will have read this far) at a certain time on a certain day, everyone in the world should ‘jump’ so that the earth changes orbit, that way we can correct the global warming phenomena caused by us in the first place.

So…
What I’m thinking (stick with me here) is that we use the word ‘jump’ as a euphemism for really energetic physically demanding sex (like that’s never been done before…) That way, you can turn to your partner and seriously enquire as to whether the earth moved for them.

If we take this seriously though – they say they need 600,000,000 jumpers. They don’t say what the spread is though. What if they get that amount of people taking it seriously – but they don’t live in the required spots? Surely for it to work they’d need X amount of people on each continent at the specified times, lets face it 1 person in England won’t be too great if 599,999,999 people jump in South America. It could make things worse.
Just a thought.

Oh and for any keen gardeners (I thought you may like this one honey) Sean has also shown me this.
We are so going for a visit, at least there’s no knives or swords involved in this one…

Bikes!

i cant sleep.
again.
i was shatterd by 11 so off went the pc (im getting good see…) and into bed went i. only to wake up again at 2.30. glass of water, asleep again til 4. disgustingly wide awake so a brief chat to p on msn before he toddled off to bed (bless ‘im, poor baybee has a cold also – its not good.) followed by another failed attempt to install studio mx on my pc *sigh*
ive since made and eaten a VERY tasty fruit salad (strawberries, apples, kiwi fruit, banana’s, orange segments and grapes in orange juice) had a herbal tea, read a few other blogs (and come to the discovery that mine isnt actually that bad *smug*)
Tried looking around for ideas on tweaking my blog template (hence once more attempting the mx install… bloomin thing) im happy with the colours but i want to change things around a bit – add some more pics etc (yes im bored)
Cant even go and watch a film cos the pets asleep – ditto for running the bath cos it’ll wake everyone up (bloomin’ boiler) ohh… films – reminds me..
Went to see Torque with B today.
Ok so the plot is… well.. poor. The script sadly makes the plot look inspired, all that aside though – BIKES! STUNTS! STUNTS ON BIKES!! PERFORMANCE CARS GETTING TRASHED BY BIKES…
and obviously a lead man who’s very easy on the eye (all the good guys are *drool… though i’ve always liked the guy out of witchblade – cant remember his name, he’s the partner who gets killed in the first show but show’s up as her conscience occasionally)
script though… ‘i live my life by the quarter mile’ *shakes head sadly… (almost saved by the equally attractive female leads pithy “that has got to be the dumbest thing ive ever heard” line)
guys – worth watching for the gratuitous scantilly clad chicks and ‘get one over on the car owners’ mentality of the film. Girls… super fit guys in leather. say no more *grin* besides.. its cool seeing a bird who handles herself better than any of the guys. shame its only ever seems to happen in dodgy films.
ok – so it was pants. i enjoyed it though. fave line has got to be just after shane (female lead) decks a guy with an exhaust pipe… she looks down at his unconcious body and says “you shouldnt pick on girls” before taking his bike and riding off to save her boy.
I like her.