Coping with stress the Rosevibe way
Stress is the bane of everyone’s existence – more so for those of us whose bodies will shut down at the slightest intimation of that nasty wee beastie rearing its ugly little head. I usually know when stress is kicking in even before it starts making its presence felt by stirring up the ME/CFS or [...]
Beating the disability benefit trap
Trying to make myself look a good employment prospect is stressful; I’m resigned to never managing full time (unless someone out there manages to come up with a cure for ME/CFS – which would be nice..) but I WILL do my damnedest to find a part time job that pays better than the benefit system; hence the [...]
Against all odds..
Principles and applications of web Services (technology): A3 Digital Entertainment Systems: A1 Web Application development (design): A3 Professional Issues in computing: A3
Modest life ambitions
I didn’t choose to do an IT degree with a view to becoming any kind of hotshot programmer/ web designer, despite my love of html and most things web; my first choice would have been any number of the jewellery/ crafting courses on offer even though most are not of a degree standard.
Memories and musings
“She greets us as we enter the world; she is with us when we leave it. She is never more than a second away from us, as close as our own heartbeat; but when she does not stand directly before us, we cannot recall her face. When she calls, loud and clear, we drop whatever [...]
Having ME/CFS is humiliating
It’s bad enough having all this crap wrong with us, being knackered and in pain all the sodding time while still managing to look the picture of health, people don’t think there’s anything wrong with you and that you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.
The geeks guide to ME/CFS
A conversation with @elmundio87 got me thinking earlier;
Blogging, course work and ME/CFS
When I first started this blog I had no life; I was working every hour god sent and a few more to boot until I really had no life because the ME/CFS took it away. I had a great deal to say and a great deal of time in which to say it – even [...]
But you don’t look ill..
Physically I am very lucky; despite my grumbles my natural body shape falls within the bounds of curvy as opposed to noticeably overweight – even post-pregnancy. I eat healthily and try to avoid stress as much as possible because stress exacerbates my condition. All of which lends itself to the physical appearance of a healthy [...]
I’ve come a long way
Back in 2005 I was getting to grips with ME/CFS and how it had changed my life, things were pretty bleak:
We has internetz!
RAH!!!!! Yup, talk talk finally came through yesterday evening so I’m back where I belong: in front of a computer screen.
There may be trouble ahead..
It’s been pretty hectic since the social media conference, I’ve had furniture delivered, a plumber round to fix ‘stuff’ attended an antenatal class with Stef and been to a wedding; after which I had the biggest scare of my life..
News
Ok, to fill you all in on just why my posting has been pants for the last few months and why I’ve been so ill and why I’ve barely posted anything else. You see, when you have something big happening in your life it’s all you want to write about – especially on a personal [...]
Getting ahead of myself
Seems I should check my paperwork more carefully, I’m still fully hosted right up until june YEY! *grin*
Stuff. It’s all good. Well..
Hurrah! for internet shopping say I. Yup, aside from the beady goodness recently purchased from Hobbycraft (just a little hint there for my female relatives, that’s right it’s home made jewelery for you again this year *grin* learn to love it!) Christmas shopping online was practically finished by the end of November, that makes me [...]
Clowns to the left of ME..
I’ve been following the You & Yours spot about ME/CFS on BBC Radio 4 out of idle curiosity, I’m not expecting any great shakes from it but it’s certainly pulling a few cockroaches out of the woodwork..
Can our social skills be hurt or helped by what we do online?
I saw this posted in the comments of a blog post by Mediajoltz and it got me to thinking.
The M.E. interview
A while back Sean Fisher asked to interview me as part of his journalism coursework, he wanted to ask me things about ME/CFS and how it affected my life. Sean was actually living with me when I first came down with the illness so he knew me before, during and after and has seen first [...]
It’s the little things that make life worth living
I started today with a bad CFS/ME attack, Stef once more had to do the carrying to and from the bathroom thing because I couldn’t physically move, grunting was the highest form of communication at my command and I felt like crap. I’m still aching to buggery and I’m soooo tired it’s untrue.. But I [...]
We should start a company and make misery..
As the song goes anyway. I’m really sick of always being tired and always being in pain, logically I know it’s worse at the moment because of the incipient arrival of certain biological functions – but logic does not enter into it where emotion is concerned.
Couldn’t have said it better myself
This letter says everything you need to know about ME/CFS
Back to work?
Don’t make me laugh! The government are apparently eager to get all of us malingerers off incapacity benefit and back on the work force – at least that’s the story..
Moving on up..
Sadly not in the ‘home’ sense of the word but I have taken the slightly scary first step of looking for work.
Karaoke
What a night – seriously, it’s been an absolute corker – I can’t even remember the last time i wanted to blog about a night in the Bull *grin*
Go on then..
..Sum me up in 1000 words. Or not *grin* I was interviewed today by Sean (some of you may remember him, he was the filthy beast with whom I used to live before getting this here lovenest with my honey) he’s now studying journalism at Salford uni and has to interview ‘someone interesting’ apparantly my [...]
Bugger.
So I didn’t get DLA, I’m not shocked, the medical assessment was hellish and I knew in my gut I’d be refused any more financial help. It sucks, just because I look normal and healthy i’m obviously faking it as far as they’re concerned, they don’t see me on the days i need to rest [...]
Valentines day massacre
We climbed out of the pit around midday, slobbed around for another couple of hours then got in the car to sit in rush hour traffic and listen to steve wright and chris evans on radio 2, then we came home, ate take out, watched films and went to bed.
Shitter of a day.
I’d set my alarm for 10am, just to make sure I was up and ready for this medical assessment, sadly I was just too knackered so I shuffled the alarm up to 12pm and went back to sleep. We went off to Albert bridge house where the ordeal was to take place. Stef dropped me [...]
A day in the life..
I wake up, distinct lack of enthusiasm for moving from the bed to the bathroom despite an insistant nagging from my bladder. I lie there almost dozing for a couple of hours, halfheartedly trying to convince myself it’d be a good idea to get out of bed – I know if I really push myself [...]
Procrastination at it’s finest
Seriously, how better to procrastinate than to read about ways of avoiding it. Genius
Flyyyy little wi-ing
Just listening to a few of the tracks we’re rehearsing – I just hope my throats up for it *sigh* ah well, I’ve a fair amount of time until we get together again.
Dirty weekend in Durham
Well, not really a dirty weekend, but it sounds good *grin* One of Stef’s friends got married on Saturday, we had to go really – he made Stef do a reading at the wedding (which he got through in magnificent style despite his qualms about using the word ‘foibles’ *chuckle*) When we tried to book [...]
Latest on the ebay fiasco
okies, here’s what I sent to the paypal resolution centre about 2 minutes ago: I requested confirmation of shipping from the seller as I’d had no correspondnace and they were no longer registered on ebay. I gave them a little more leeway after they emailed me to apologise and state that a job offer over [...]
Bummer.
Figures really, I was still buzzing so much that even after I wen to bed at a fairly reasonable hour i was still lying in the dark, wide awake when him downstairs starts.
Ricky Gervais
I’m not sure if those of you over the pond are aware of who this guy is, over here he’s basically an ‘A’ list celeb these days.
I’m turning into Victor Meldrew..
When I was a kid I wrote into ‘the Gusher’ aka the Daventry Express, I wrote about the apalling lack of facilities around for kids who had no money and nowhere to go – I wrote it in response to a person who complained about the gangs of kids hanging around the end of their [...]
Christmas crashes and goodwill to all men
On the whole I’ve not had too bad a holiday season, good company, great food and many a gift all combine to create a feeling of general goodwill, the only fly in the ointment was this crappy illness rearing it’s ugly little head and preventing me from seeing my bestest bud.
It’s a chocolate christmas
I woke up this morning after dreaming that i’d gone downstairs to open my gifts only to find everyone else had already opened theirs and half of the things we’d brought were missing – instead there were just hundreds of chocolate eggs – and all the ones i’m not too keen on, cadburys caramel and [...]
Beady things
I’ve been toying with the idea for some time now of trying to sell some of my creations on Ebay since there’s really nothing else I can do to raise money and fund my hobby, this has led to me also thinking of ways to link my website and make it do something useful as [...]
This week oive been mostly..
Sleeping. Yup, the CFS has reared it’s ugly little head and attempted to steal my life again – this time around though I haven’t crumpled into a weeping wreck at the unfairness of it all. Stef took me into town on wednesday so I could meet up with Dawn, he’s a good lad really, there [...]
Benefits update
I’m actually half thankful that this benefit screw up has happened. OK, because I have no paperwork covering the dates they claim I owe from that could prove I do not owe the money, I have to suck it up and pay it. However,after speaking to the welfare rights people it appears I can at [...]
Superstitious? Me? Nooooooooooo..
I went to a talk today that was supposed to be given by Dr. John Gow about his research into the biomedical markers for CFS (which to you and me means finding a way of testing reliably for the illness by looking at the way our genes react and then showing that reaction in a [...]
Ni-iiice.. Not.
And people wonder why british teeth are in such bad shape..
“We gotta get out of this place..”
I’ve been looking around for possible places to move to – as well as possible routes to getting back to work.
Does this mean i’m into teenagers now?
I am going to bed in a minute.. I am, really. I just got a little sidetracked reading through some of my old posts (prompted by a search that showed up on my stats) I used to be totally addicted to blog – reading and writing. I can actually remember how I’d be mentally writing [...]
DAMNED browser issues!
I had virtually finished this post, it was witty.. Informative.. Fairly disgusting, but yes – it was just about done.. Then firefox wigged out on me – again!
Dee-lightful!
Not been around for a while, not likely to be. why? a wonderful thing called a perianal abcess developed, I came out of hospital yesterday and i’m now waiting for the surgery to heal, could be a couple of weeks.. i’ll be back, just may be a while.
*sniff* *whimper*
I’ve been going through my cfs blog and quite interestingly it turns out that all the crapness I’ve been feeling physically the last few weeks are very similar to what I was feeling this time last year, who knows maybe I’m grasping at straws but it could be a pattern..
Just peachy
I’ve been feeling pretty crappy lately, drained, aching and generally under the weather – this has not made me an easy person to live with.
Gauchos
Ick. I had a full blog post in my head, it was sat there eagerly awaiting escape to the net. But it’s gone. *sigh* my head is so full of holes these days I can’t seem to retain a thought for more than 5 minutes. I’m blaming therapy (even though I’ve only been once) I [...]
Visiting the chums
The one thing this weekend has shown me is how much I miss being able to go out and dance the night away. I’ve never liked going out just for the sake of having a drink, that’s never appealed. But I do miss being able to have a good dance. Once upon a time I’d [...]
Meeting the KI’ers
Just got back in, Claire and her mum are happily strumming away on the ol’ guitars and I’m nursing my throat *grin* Roll on 2007, the summer months.
The sun is out.. The sky is blue..
I’ve had a pretty good day today – even if it did suck when the alarm went off at the crack of dawn. Had to go to the hospital today to see the immunologist, he was lovely – he’s also referring me for CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy to you lot) In an attempt to help [...]
um..
I’ve been up since about 4am following a fairly disturbing dream. I woke up completely disoriented, I didn’t know who or where I was because my dream identity still had me in it’s clutches. I nearly died of shock when Stef started snoring because until that point I hadn’t even realised I was sharing the [...]
fireworks and fancies
Ok, I’m back for a quickie *grin* I’m just not tired – well, not sleepy tired… I’ll admit to being a little nervous about thursday, I’m still having trouble with these temporary bridge things, thursday the permanent ones get put in and I’m worried that they’ll hurt too. *sigh* I’m such a wuss when it [...]
Gits, the lot of ‘em
Well, it’s official. I’ve just checked my finances and I’m skint – again. At the end of October I need to pay my dentist over £300 for badly needed work on my teeth (all cheer, I’m finally getting it sorted) I also have to worry about Christmas and a few other financial commitments.
ugh.. not again!
Right now I’m supposed to be down south meeting the other halfs family. Sadly because I’m a puking cripple we made it as far as the petrol station before I had to beg him to bring me home so I could kneel at the feet of the porcelain throne, again.
I hate when they stick around after
I just had the most disturbing nightmare about a girl in a burns unit – she was going for a meeting/ party about a year after her attack, the security guard greeted her and another lass at the door, both appeared to be blind as a result of their attacks, the girl most prominantly featured [...]
Gastroscopy
If you wanna know what it’s like having a gastroscopy I’m afraid you’ll have to ask some bugger else. All I know is, I went in hungry – got a little anxious as I lay down and had one of those nasty plastic tap things inserted into my elbow (I have junkie veins in my [...]
I’m a winner baybee!
Well – I’m an official salford resident, I have a doctor and a dentist and I’m not looking forward to either initial examination *sigh* On the plus side it can’t possibly be as bad as the gastroscopy I’m having tomorrow at Crumpsall. Still – they’ll be sedating me so at least I’ll get some decent [...]
so what HAVE i got?
Been a bit of a rough day emotionally for me today. The DWP Dr. came round this afternoon for my home assessment, that in itself proved to be something I needlessly worried about, the guy was really nice. However, he expressed concern over my ‘sleepy fits’ as I call them, he says that’s not ‘usual’ [...]
Scumlord
I have come to the conclusion my landlord moonlights as a mule for drug dealers. My reasoning is that only a vast amount of drugs could explain his behaviour because no-one who has earned enough money to buy a whole street can be this incompetent. I’m thinking the stomach lining has ruptured and he’s finally [...]
I have a virtual life, but I love it.
I began thinking earlier of just how much time I would have to myself if I gave up the internet. Now, I know that the time I spend online these days is but a mere fraction of the time I’d spend this time last year, but it is still quite a substantial portion of my [...]
Energy for life
The latest craze on my street appears to be the pogo stick. Day and night it seems all I can hear is the ‘cahinkachinkachinkachinka’ of it bouncing up and down outside my house… It’s driving me nuts!
making things happen.
As you may or may not know about me, I love artwork – especially landscapes/ seascapes or anything fantasy related. I’ve been browsing around (again) and I’ve found some bloody good stuff so my link list will be getting longer, just as a taster for one of the sites I found today have a squizz [...]
Men have it easy!
Just been for a quick sqizz here That’s why I’ve just spent the last 10 minutes attempting to make my right foot fall off.
but..
I’m really confused right now. My Dr has just managed to make me all suspicious of Ben (the lovely acupuncturist I’ve been recieving treatment from) He didn’t come right out and say that he thinks he may be conning me, but he danced around the issue enough that it’s put all sorts of thoughts in [...]
Bleaugh.
I know you’re used to it but there’s no wild and wacky karaoke story to tell today, I’m not going for a couple of weeks – last night I wasn’t feeling up to it anyhow and money is more than a little tight at casa Vicky so no fun and games for me *sniff* But [...]
Having a whinge, leave now.
Having M.E. sucks great big hairy donkey bollocks. I do make a conscious effort not to moan about it in general – to anyone. If I’m honest I try really hard not to even think about it. But I’ve had a long chat about it today and so many things are buzzing around in my [...]
Bowie?
I dreamt I trapped off with David Bowie last night. God knows where that came from – and it was at a candle party ffs. A candle party in aid of cancer research that my gran had hosted – he wasn’t flavour of the month though – she apparantly knew him under a different name [...]
It’s M.E.
*sniff* If you don’t wanna be bored stupid with another post about my ongoing health issues – hit the back button now.
Hospital hell
I had a hellish day today. I can giggle a bit about it now, but at the time… I left the house at 8am, I was feeling quite crap as I’d made myself stay awake so I would not miss my hospital appointment, one of the problems with this whole ‘sleepy’ illness thing is I [...]
Shopping
Ok, I’m now home and dry, the washing is packed away, I have a brew and am feeling like a total washed out tit. Tonight lays bare the lie that I have common sense. Seriously… If I truly possessed this attribute, no way would I have done the asda run in this weather wearing what [...]
nanowrimo start date
ARRRRRRRrrrrrrghhhhhhhh… I forgot the date. I’m supposed to start my novel today. Never mind eh?! I’ve now watched the entire first season of Dark Angel on DVD – I so wish I looked like Jessica Alba (sometimes) and cat DNA in my makeup… hmmmm, could prove interesting. Updated the love song list on my ‘bleaugh’ [...]
bits and bobs
It’s another net thing I’m afraid Discovered this handy lil thing whilst trying to log onto bleeping computer. tells you everything you need to know about a hijack this log (for those not in the know, hijack this is a program that scans whats happening on your computer and then allows you to choose what [...]
feeling low
well i got soaked. It started hammering down 5 minutes after i got off the bus. i purchased cleaning products, got my prescribed painkillers (that so far seem to do jack for the pain) and wandered around the shops listening to tunes before i came back here. I was seriously considering heading out to a [...]
CFS?
Now i am thoroughly depressed. I’ve just returned from the dr’s and spoken to work about said visit. It appears all my blood test results were negative, my liver/ heart etc etc all fine – which is good. What isn’t so good is that he’s narrowed it down to either Fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome [...]
and.. Out!
Finally! seems my PC does not like blogger much *sigh* well its been a few days, much has happened – kinda… Boss came from work to do a house visit (check up on me) they went away suitably confused and unimpressed with my previous Dr (he responsible for the 3 month sick note) I’m being [...]
bedbound again
Well as i’ve spent pretty much all day in bed, it’s hardly surprising i’m awake now. Last night killed me. I ended up battered, bruised and limping. Yes, I stuffed my knee up again and all for nothing – excersize does not help my ‘condition’, if anything it makes it WORSE. I managed to drag [...]
3 months?
Seems the hardcore elephant urination approach has paid off *grimace* so I’m considering changing the title of my blog. For real, checking the keywords used by the people who have found it:
What is wrong with me?
Feeling crappy again, was woken up at just gone 12 by ‘the big boss’ from work *sigh* I hadn’t realised that I was still meant to call in every day once I got a sick note, probably means I’m now going to lose money *sniff* I wouldn’t mind but its just a stupid thing, yesterday, [...]
elephant WHAT?
Went to the Dr’s this evening, after spending an hour this morning on the phone fruitlessly trying to find one I could register with. It seems there are STILL only 2 in my area taking on, and I can have an appointment at either – provided I wait around 4 weeks till they have a [...]
Glandular fever…
Joy. Thats what the Dr at the A&E thinks i have. I was in there for about 3 hours, sadly they couldnt give me a sick note but he has given me a helpline number to call – assuming anyone ever answers it i will apparantly have a gp assigned to me within 48hrs, at [...]
musical mixer
well, i called in sick today. (again) its bad enough being ill in work when you can still just about function but talking all day with a throat that feels like so much chopped liver… nah. no point – i shall just have to accept the fact that im gonna be whinged at, i cant [...]
Nightnurse – my queen!
ahhhh… Nightnurse. where have you been all my life?! drug of the gods, curer of misery… i salute you. yes, fighting fit and happy again (well, still a little shakey and bunged up but no longer sniffly, sneezing and teary of eye) One night with chemical cure and im feeling more myself, perhaps i shouldnt [...]