The meme was one of those ‘list x tracks from your mp3 player’ and because the shuffle function threw up a lot of tracks I don’t listen to very often; mostly from the heavier rock and metal genres, I had quite a few OMG moments; these were the soundtrack of my time in Manchester pre-illness.

I mostly lived in Jillys rock world from the first weekend I ventured out after moving there. The door staff became friends and looked out for me both in the club and out of it (Mo came along on my CBT test and I attended his wedding reception, at one point or another they all picked me and my broken down shitty TZR 125 up from some place or another and I’d house sit every year for the Isle of man contingent when they made the TT pilgrimage)

I started out studying drama at the Abraham moss college where I had my finest theatrical hour as Rosie in ‘My Mother Said I never Should‘, a 4 person 3 hour play directed by a wonderful woman whose name sadly escapes me now.

I was forever being asked to record this that and the other for random people (mostly ‘producers’ using the offer as a pick up line) because the theatre rooms were located at the other side of the recording studios – one time I actually had someone follow us into the theatre demanding to know who had been singing outside the room and while I started apologising they demanded my number for a forthcoming project – much to the amusement of my fellow loveys.

So I guess it’s no shock that I ended up in music (I actually hated the theatre, the people were 90% self-centred/ insecure bitches, 7% couldn’t care less techies and 3% talented actors – loved the acting; hated the people)

From some great collaborations including a local radio promo piece recorded with a talented guitarist called Dave for the MANCAT college I attended (then had to leave when ‘New deal’ came out and my course didn’t meet the criteria for financial aid) to my shining moments of event management..

Perhaps the best work I ever did and I possibly missed my calling there; I first organised a music night for my then boyfriends band, I’d pre-sold a ton of tickets when the head liners pulled out the day before..

After a brief panic I managed to pull some strings (ie begged people I knew) and got the then flavour of the year band ‘Kill II This’ in their place – I was lucky they were willing to do it as a warm up for the already advertised solo gig 2 days later. It was a very successful night and despite spending a fortune on the rider managed to not only break even but make a small profit – which for a first promo event with next to no advertising was apparently unheard of according to Shawn and Russell (the events and bar managers at Manchester Uni S.U)

My second event was even more satisfying – 4 days with 27 bands at the band on the wall; Not sure how I got roped into this..

I was a 1st year popular music student at Salford Uni (another course I was forced to leave for financial reasons) and I was approached by one of the 3rd years for help organising the music performance exams, I had to sort out running lists and stage manage the whole thing – from getting the instruments and equipment to the venue to getting the people on and off stage on time.

It was a roaring success – so much so that I was asked to do the same again at the local pub a few weeks later by 2 of the bands when they were putting on an event.. I kinda miss all that, not just performing but organising things, it was a buzz.

I had a lot of contacts back then because I was part of the student scene both AS a student but also as a bouncer, bar staff and ‘casual crew’ so my work was also my social life and it was a blast.

I was asked to join several bands (even had a 3 fist review for one of my student bands in Kerrang! I still have it, torn out and kept in a photo album; the reviewer LOVED me *grin*) and as I mentioned on facebook; Mark of ‘Kill II This’ fame once asked me to join that very band as a bass player when someone told him I was learning to play bass – sadly I declined but part of me has always wondered what might have been had I accepted..

I passed up several music opportunities; to go on tours as a backstage gofer, to record dance tracks for export (I was an idiot back then and didn’t want to ‘sell out’) and to work abroad as part of a duo.

All this was on top of my day jobs which were generally of the shop assistant/ customer service variety. Until I got a job at the Hard Rock Casino then my life went nuts because those people party HARD. Casino folk are either working, sleeping or partying and they do each of those at weird hours because they do not live the life normal folk know.

It was during that time I got ‘in’ with the car crowd – the guys who do the illegal drag racing up and down dual carriageways and ‘chip’ their cars and always know someone who can get you a part.. I had many a trip to wales at 4am with the lads, night driving is a pleasure! ..So I guess it’s doubly weird that I STILL don’t have a license.

I also had an abortive attempt at a writing collaboration with a guy in Canada – his backers paid for me to fly over there for a weekend after about 3 months of online talks and we spent a night holed up in a room at the holiday inn discussing his (dreadful) screenplay, he’d previously made a film about the treatment of slaves and had sent me a video of it, he wanted to give religion the same treatment.. but upon my return a story (maybe true, maybe not) about his wife becoming terminally ill killed that project and communication dwindled – maybe I should have been less honest with my criticism?

I’ve met so many famous people in the touring music industry that the names have all rolled into a jumble in my mind, a few stand out but generally not for good reasons and I doubt very many of them would remember me any better – I was just the ‘little girl doing back door security’ (as Pantera guitarist ‘Dimebag’ Darrell dubbed me) but I’m still gutted that Bruce Dickinson wouldn’t let me have his flight jacket because that was a cool jacket and most definitely would have been in my size..

I do remember how nice Cass of Skunk Anansie was the night I got talked into giving up seeing the show to work it by my panicked boss – was not best pleased as the tickets had been a birthday present; I’m not a fangrrl and I have zero interest in meeting the artists of work I admire, I just like to watch and listen from a distance (though my one exception to that would be Sandra Bullock; I think she’d be fun to hang out with) He made a point of sitting and chatting to me at the back door and got the side of stage lad to swap with me at one point so I could see at least some of the show.

..Nice guy, great performer; so glad they’re going to be touring again because THIS time I’m getting a ticket and going to see ‘em – if it kills me!

That’s right, even though these blogs are supposed to be ‘live’ on studynet, we can’t access them. So much for that assignment eh?!

The second one is pretty ace though, It’s given me the kick up the backside I needed to get my audio gear working on the laptop, we’re to create posters and blurb for an educational literacy game aimed at the 5-7 age range, as well as the hard copy stuff we’re to create some animated banners and pictures with sound for the ‘forthcoming website’.

This is why today I’ve dusted off my spirit notepad mixer, plugged in the mic and sorted out recording levels ready to do all the voice overs I need – only problem is I’m gonna need a bigger laptop bag to carry all this equipment into college.

Why is it so hard to find a laptop bag that doesn’t LOOK like a laptop bag? I’ve been searching on and off all day, while there are some nice ones out there, none seem big enough for my needs. I have to be able to pack in the laptop, mixer, mic and stand, headphones and all the leads – plus a pad and a couple of pens with enough space for water and snacks..

..enough space to also carry an external drive with psu etc would be nice – but wishful thinking. Especially in rucksack form.

*grin* I don’t want much do I?

Anyhow, all that playing around earlier meant that now I can start singsnapping again – just as soon as my ears stop playing up, haven’t done any singing in Aaaaaaages and I’ve missed it

Ok, so maybe that’s just me, I’ve always been a tactile person – I’m no longer as upfront about it as I used to be – a few years back a hug was my version of a handshake, it took a while to accept that people (guys) didn’t always understand it was nothing more than my way of saying ‘hello nice to meet you/ good to see you again’ or ‘g’bye, it was great to see you’ Now I tend to reserve that for people who’ve known me for a while – you can always tell the length of my acquaintance with someone from the way I hug ‘em, if it’s over 8 years they still get the full ‘G’bye’ body hug off me, anyone of a lesser acquaintance gets a quick ‘airkiss’ type squeeze.

You see I’ve always been a tad naive in some respects – probably still am if I’m truthful.. I just like physical contact, I’m a hugger (hence the nicknames at Uni of hugdealer and/ or cuddleslut)
When I worked at the Hard Rock there was a lad there who was quite frankly terrified of me at first *grin* he didn’t like or know how to handle girls at all – yet by the time I left there, if he didn’t get a hug he said he felt upset, as though I was pissed at him.
To me that was a compliment – he’d gone from being awkward around girls to actively seeking contact (of a non-sexual nature I should add – he’s soooo not hetero lol) and not just from me – but he was one of the people most instrumental in making me see just how inappropriate my behavior could be at times, a part of me knew it but until a long talk I had with him, I’d ignored that part of myself and held to the belief that since my intentions were always ‘pure’ so would the other persons be.

The thought that prompted those memories is that today I’m missing Stef – a lot. It’s been a week since I last saw him and talking on the phone just doesn’t cut it. Watching the wedding date and reading a mills & boon this morning did little to help lift the mood either lol

But I did what I always do when a hug is unavailable and I’m alone in need of a hug – I turned to my music. Singing is not just a release, it’s a comfort, it’s something that I can do well and I revel in the sensation of doing it – it’s not that I love the sound of my own voice because I’ll rarely listen back to anything I’ve recorded – but while I’m singing I feel ‘full’ and complete and there’s no room for loneliness or fear or worry or anything but the joy of singing.

Ok, so my choice of song to start can be a tad on the maudlin side, but it opens me up and by the end of a singing session I’m also dancing away to myself and anyone nearby will hear little squeals of laughter mixed in with the singing as I picture how it would look to anyone walking in on me.

..Which is what I’ve just been doing *grin* I happened to glance out of the open window as I was singsnapping ‘black horse and a cherry tree’ to see an elderly neighbour looking around in puzzlement for the source of the music.

I have three songs that are my ‘virtual hugs’ at the moment and will usually snap me out of any miserable mood and open me up to having some fun:

1. Incubus – Drive
2. Sarah MacLaclan – Building a mystery
3. Dobie Grey – Driftaway

What are your musical hugs? What triggers the lifting of a dark mood for you? I’d be interested to know..

*grin* Sorry, I’ve been re-living my musical youth this afternoon. (in a none ‘pass tha dutchi’ sense..)
Pandora radio is based on the music genome project:

Each song in the Music Genome Project is analyzed using up to 400 distinct musical characteristics by a trained music analyst. These attributes capture not only the musical identity of a song, but also the many significant qualities that are relevant to understanding the musical preferences of listeners.

The way the site works is that you ‘create’ your own radio stations (1 for every mood and a few beside) you pick an artist/ song and the site then uses the information provided by the genome project to play others of a similar nature you can refine that choice further by giving each track a thumbs up or down – each time you express a preference it will automatically tweak the selection played to you to reflect those preferences.

I started a funky one with Keziah Jones as my lead off artist, since then it’s been like a trip down memory lane with a few new faces popping in for good measure. I’ve sang along to Ralph tresvant (I used to LOVE all this stuff, I fondly remember an all night decorating session with 3 tapes playing, the afore mentioned Ralph, Maxi Priest and Luthor vandross) and today I’ve discovered a group/ artist called Morley – me likee muchly!

To anyone with access to an American zip code I definitely recommend signing up to this site – and best of all.. It’s FREE!

I raised my still sleep sodden head to gaze at the clock only to see that it was 10 past 4 or 5, it took me three more songs (2 of which were skippy renditions of the Cyndi Lauper version of ‘I drove all night’) to manage to focus my bleary eyes enough to realise that yup, it was only 5.20am and I had in fact been asleep for a maximum of  2 hours.
This is when Stef turned over and asked me if this had been going on all night.

I’ve loaded the washing machine and I’m now sat patiently waiting for the music to stop so I can set it going, an hour of that shaking and rattling just may be enough to piss on his bonfire, sadly i doubt it because rather than being situated above his probably soon to be sleeping head, it’s over at the other side of the flat, the kitchen.

I think my next purchase is going to be taht rock polisher I’ve had my eye on and it’s going right by the front door so as I leave it on all night it can intrude upon HIS sleep for a change.

Petty? Yes, but this has been going on for months and the one time we didn’t just roll over and bitch quietly to ourselves and actually tried to get him to SHUT THE FUCK UP, round came the thugs to kick in my door and police were involved. 

Meh, it’s gone quiet now – I was all set to get the washer going but Stefs said to leave it, he wants to sleep and I can’t blame him. I just wish I could, I’m wound up and I’ve got that queasy feeling you get when your rest is interrupted, I know from experience that it’ll take a good few hours for me to be able to drop off again. So.. Guess I’ll go work my vampires for a bit and try to chill myself into calm.

All I’ll say is, this is some kind of torture, he’s making me dislike music that I’ve loved for years – I now can’t hear Dolly Parton without grinding my teeth in outrage (I know Jay, for you that’s a normal reaction) but If i start to have the same kneejerk reaction to soft rock I may well have to kill him, that’s half my karaoke repertoire and we all know how I love my karaoke!

Speaking of which, this is why we didn’t get to bed til about 2.30 this morning. We went for a drink with Dave to a nice little pub in Swinton, from there we ended up at the staff of life  – which hosts a cracking karaoke on a Saturday night. I got up and did a tune and was then berated by the KJ for not coming in earlier as it was too late for me to do another, i was a little disappointed but the atmosphere was so good in there it hardly mattered.
From there we headed back to Daves for a brew and watched an Allan Davies live stand up video – feckin’ hilarious, haven’t belly laughed like that in ages, then we wandered home and fell into bed, only to be woken now.

I think a nice calming game of Mah jongg and I’ll attempt sleepybo’s again – after all, I’m gonna be really pissed if I’m too tired for my driving lesson this evening.